CityLife

Year of New Beginnings

2007-01-11T14:53:00.000+08:00

This year really started with quite a bang for me...At the end of last year, I had been a little worried about my schedule for this year. I had been praying for a schedule that enables me to lead a fairly comfortable lifestyle and one that would also be able to balance my church activities like serving and attending bible studies, and even more ambitiously placing myself in a cell group....Based on my human calculation and sight, I could never have dreamt that every single one of my wish list may actually come to past! (my schedule has yet to be 100% confirmed)...I'm so delighted! Thanks to my Top boss Jesus who has approved my requests! Hoorray! :)

Well, this year would be a year of a fair bit of change in my life. I've bought a new flat and would probably be moving in by middle of this year...I'm quite excited about it cause it would be something new to be living on my own...although i've lived overseas without my parents before, but this time round it would not be in someone else's apartment but my very own...fortunately since i've not had a maid for the past 7 years of my life, i've been forced to learn all the basics of household management, from ironing to cleaning, washing, light cooking...I think that really helped...haha...now i'm ready to embark of managing my very own hideout!..hehe...

Something new would be that it would be the first renovation project that i have to embark on in my entire life...haha...I really have a whole lot of wishlist for my new house and now have sent my request to my boss to get approval of the it and hopefully i'll get a good budget!..haha...My renovators are telling me it's impossible to do the list of things that i've requested at the budget that i've given them but i'm so glad i've have a more optimistic and rich boss and great friend whom i believe would provide for all things and see me through the whole process..=).....and i'm sure it would turn out perfect because while all things are prepared for the day of battle, But the victory still remains with the LORD.

Rejoice and Again I say Rejoice!

2006-11-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yep, so often I find myself falling in to the trap of beginning unable to be joyful especially in times where things don't turn out in a way that I want it too...its easy at times to thank the Lord for good things but how about things that were not so ideal? Well I have learnt that it is so important and even more increasing so, to trust the Lord for ALL things, cause All things will eventually work for the good for those who trust in Him....I've to hit this so hard into my brain cause this human brain of mind keeps forgetting =)....that even when things don't turn out right, the Lord sees beyond our present circumstances cause he don't live in a time zone like us, and out current position falls under his perfect plan for our lives and it don't matter whether the little things that we fail along the way cause he's abounding in grace and mercy and will always pick us up and bring us back to the right track and from there we can move on with confidence. We are juz like the little child trying so hard to push a big tree trunk all by ourselves, naturally we would fail cause we don't have enough strength but it is only when our Heavenly Father comes to assist us that we would be able get the it moved. So juz need to call on our Daddy and he'll do the work for us, so we juz need to relax in circumstances that go beyond our control. We juz need to pray, then trust the Lord to do his part in it.

Well, my life's full of errors and several regrets but I'm sooo very glad that God don't count them anymore. For that I am indeed eternally grateful...I'm so glad the Lord picked me to be a beneficiary in Christ, cause if i have to pay back all that debt of sins i had made, it would really take me many many thousands of centuries to do that and even then more new sins would have accumulate in those centuries and it will take me another few more rounds again...and it will never end =) So isn't that something worth rejoicing for? =)

Greatly Loved

2006-11-12T13:42:00.001+08:00

Today I was so tired, when my alarm rang i continued sleeping...haha and when i finally awoke, it was close to 7am. Rushed to queue for lst svc but fortunately managed to get to the main audi =)....Was really blessed and touched by the Lord during the svc as i was again reminded that of his great love he has for me...never would i be able to outdo that love...this reminds me of those gambling drama series where there would be two gamblers competing and they would follow each other in putting the larges amounts of money on the centre of the table till one of them runs out of money.....well if we use love as a token to "gamble" with the lord, we would surely lose cause his love is too abundant that even every human's love added together would not be able to come close to it....he clothes us with his robes of righteousness and giving us so much authority in his name even when we were so undeserving of it...but he still choose to adorn us with the right to come boldly into his presence to worship and praise him...Isn't that so fanastic?=) The more I know this truth, the greater level of wisdom i realise i need to have in order to effectively use all the wonderful gifts that we possess so that I can be who the Lord intended me to be in this world....Don't think I'll be able to use my human eyes to understand the depth of this love cause we would never find such a person in his world who can love us so selflessly...Yep, truly our human love is so inconsistent and fluctuates too easily and it is usually based on our moods and circumstances but fortunately our God is unlike us or else it would truly be disastrous! haha...=)I'm so glad to be deeply loved, highly favored, richly blessed forever...Love you JESUS! =)

Blessed again :)

2006-11-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

Juz an update on my previous posting...I've found my new house...Thanks to Jesus! I've found a house that meets all my requests that i had asked for :)...Wanted a house with a view as an important thing for me cause i really hate to live in a place with a lousy view..so during my house hunt, although i saw another house that had a good view, it was next to the railway track, so it was a turn off...so i decided to wait then...then one of days i browsed through the classifieds and saw the house i bought for sale,called the agent and when i saw view, it was love at first sight! :) and the house location was excellent and interior needs some renovation but it's ok cause i already expected that already...so decided to buy it the next day...it was really quicker than i initially planned for but price negotiations went smooth and i secured the house within 2 days...Well i wouldn't be able to get the keys till next march probably but meanwhile i've got to start thinking through renovations and budget...well as He provided for the house, i believe he'll see me through all the renovations amist my busy schedule next yr....Committing it in HIS Hands....:D

Constancy in midst of Chaos

2006-10-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

It doesn't take a genius to know that the world around us changes constantly. Even as i write, thousands of molecules in the air are moving and the earth is also revolving. But one thing that i'm so thankful for is the in the midst of all this, our Lord never changes. His love is unceasing till forever...its simply amazing to think that the one who made the sun and the universe knows the number of hairs we have on our heads...haha even when a strand of hair drops, he keeps count u know! He's such a meticulous and excellent friend that you know you don't have to worry much when he's with you. He'll take care of the finer details.

Have been doing some amazing things these couple of days...well been house hunting..."wow"! is the only word that seems to be most apt to describe it! I have been waiting for this "adventure" for a couple of years already....had a couple of decisions to make after view a few units, but they weren't very difficult decisions...well still have more decisions to make...think wat i really need now is added wisdom to discern and make the final decision...of course has to be within my budget, an ideal location, great view and eateries. I've been blessed to have a good agent helping me source out units according to my requirement. However most importantly, I've already submitted the request to Abba :) So i'm sure the results will be the best for me! I'll juz have to wait patiently :)

So friends...stay tune for the great parties at my new place next year :)

Rest Day

2006-10-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today I didn't have any lessons and had a restful day sleeping and lazying around reading, watching tv, went out for lunch and played some computer games...its so great! really enjoyed it..haha...

I began the day reading the best book of the century....haha...well maybe i'll share some thoughts I had during the day...

I remembered last week, when pastor was sharing with us the secrets of calab, he mentioned that being under good leaders is so very important. I totally agree with him. The people you learn from are the ones that would be the one that will affect our beliefs and in turn how we live.

Pastor was so humorous that day when he talked about not listening to someone's "organ recital"...omg i really laughed my head off...yep so many a times we have the tendency to enjoy complaining and complaining; so now everything i have that urge to open my mouth to complain, I will bite my tongue...haha....It's a great tip to learn..or else we will start to get old faster...haha...and I don't want to be in that list!

So...I've decided to quit complaining, do more listening and resting! :)

Time Spent

2006-10-15T16:29:00.000+08:00

Time is often treated like a rare commodity because we often hear people say "I have no time." Actually don't everyone get the same amount of time every day, no more no less...how is it that some people can find time to do things can some can't? That isn't a hard question is it? I personally think that it is a matter of priority we place on doing something, of course different people have different physical and mental capabilities resulting in accomplishing more things in a shorter span of time...

Today, i treated a friend for a birthday lunch. Had a good time of sharing and catching up...it was then i was reminded that who we spend our time with is so important...Would we invest our precious time on people that do not contribute to our lives or would we rather spend quality time on people we care for and would really edify us? I think nobody in the correct frame of mind would spend time on people who treat them as dirt or even take them for granted...so it's important that we make wise decisions on who we want to spend this precious commodity on....so looks like there's going to be a reorganisation in my time priorities now! haha....hmmm i wonder who's going to be on the top priority list?.....haha.....I think i've already worked out the answer already....:)

Friends

2006-10-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Today, my mood wasn't really totally good perhaps because recently i've been searching for myself again....when once in a while we then to sit down and reflect on our life and our past actions and begin to wonder what is this life really all about. Is it about juz living from day to day doing they things we like or is there a higher calling in our lives....

Spent the morning blading at east coast on this hot sunny morning but as I was blading and listening to my Ipod, my thoughts came to my mind. Some sweet memories and some sad ones and reflected how I treated and related the people around me; my family and all my friends....another thing i realised about myself that i'm so human..haha is that an understatement? I have so many weaknesses in me that its sometimes hard for me to be able to stand myself...haha perhaps i'll sit on myself then...haha lame joke....but anyway....fortunately because of his Grace in my life that i've been able to see myself through many situations..also realised that sometimes fears of changes overwhelm me but perhaps thats the time that I'll need him the most and place my focus on Him rather than on things around me....well i'm not a "know it all" person, i'm constantly learning and even till to the day that I pass on from this earth, there are still many things that I have no answers too and many choices that I make, i make it through faith..some may say it's blind faith but everyone has a choice and i've chosen mine...therefore till the day that the sun refuses to shine, i'll remain in his love....and after that i'll be able to see him face to face le....really really really looking forward to that day...hope it will be soon :)

continuing with my story...had a most unstimulating lunch but fortunately the day didn't end on that note....

Met up with my friends and when shopping at the VIVO city at Harbour City...really cool place...u've got to check it out and guess wat the parking is actually free for this limited period of time...:)

My friends were soooo cool, spend so much fun and afterwards headed to Ikea and dinner....we had a good time of chatting and sharing about our latest happenings and they even gave me some valuable advice and tips :) Thanks you so much my dear friends! I know i can always count on you all to add valuable lessons to my life :) I'll try to improve myself so as not to disappoint all of you! YES! YES! I'VE GOT THE MESSAGE! LOUD AND CLEAR! I'll work on it immediately....:)

Reflections- Travelling Light

2006-09-21T12:47:00.000+08:00

I think i've changed a little recently, i used to think i had most of life figured out but last few months, there were somethings that i had planned out didn't turn out to be what i had wanted or anticipated. Honestly, it did affect me quite a bit but after my recent trip to KL, i realised that there are many things that are beyond my control and that i should not be too disturbed by the things happening around me. I learnt to let go and i realised that it is an important step that i must take in order to move forward. I should not always be burdened with the cares of life that would weigh me down in order for me to strive forward. Like a mountain climber, the luggages that i carry in life should be put the the minimum in order to reach the peak. So i have decided to drop all the unnecessary loads in my life. Not that these things i don't treasure and love but they need not be with me through my journey in life. Looking back, I think i've made the right decisions so far, i'll miss those things but they would be sweet memories. I'll place my trust on Him who knows my heart...

Another thing that i'm reminded is that it's so important for us to have good mentors in life....they act as our directional sign posts in life when we are are crossroads. They are usually people who knows us pretty well and they'll be the ones that would be out sounding board when get lost or get out of focus. I'm so glad that i have had many mentors in my life and till today i am very appreciative of patience and contributitions they have given to me...some of them were teachers, good friends and even relatives =)...Well thank God for them! =) Give them a High FIVE! =)

Jesus My First Love

2006-09-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

Juz this week i went to my church's oasis camp in KL. We stay at the Palace of the Golden horses. It was great hotel, with its 5 star facilities and tranquil environment, well suited for a peaceful and restful retreat. This trip came really timing as i've been quite stressed up and busy with work and other personal matters in life...It really enabled me to straighten my focus in Christ. I was reminded that Jesus is my first love..He first loved me despite of my wilfulness and disobedience and he's still as faithful as always...and thats the most lovely thing that I love about him. He's always waiting there to remind me of his presence at times when my focus was elsewhere . Hmm...love u Lord, i'm forever yours:).....In addition to enjoying his presence, there was a good time of fellowship, sharing & games with new found kingdom friends. It was really fun! Well i think its important that we have kingdom friends so as to encourage each other in times of struggle and trials...in sharing and fellowship, there is great bonding as we all have a common strength to draw from, and that is Christ himself. We had a good time of ministering to each other, shared both our struggles and aspirations, and also the blessings that Jesus had given to us in our lifes. Although most of our day is packed with pastor's sharings and activities, and even many late nights of fellowship and sharing, although physically quite drained, we were spiritually fully charged with his love. I'll really miss the camp, will be back for more next yr! :)

I Fall at Your Feet

2006-08-20T15:34:00.000+08:00

You are my covering
In You I have everything
You're all that I need
My world is complete

How precious Your offering
It's not about what I bring
It's Your sacrifice
That has brought me in
Into the Holy of Holies

I fall at Your feet
Declare You're my King
I cast my cares before you
Your peace shall reign in me
I fall at Your feet
Declare You're my King
I live my life in worship
Your grace abounds in me

The Rhythm of Life

2006-08-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

Many a times do not succeed in something because we ourselves listen to the wrong rhythm in our own hearts. We choose to listen to the negative things, things that would prevent us from moving forward...hence I'm reminded today that we should surround ourselves with only good and positive things...this would include positve people..cause if we surround ourselves with the negative, we would tend to live our lives based on the negative things we hear...Of course it is needless to say that we have to also search our own hearts to understand ourselves better and know our own strengths and weaknesses...For our strengths, we should learn to develop them and share them with those around us...as for our weaknesses, we should humble ourselves to learn from those who possess the strengths we are lacking...It is not easy as it seems you might say but we can learn, cause everyday is a new learning experience isn't? An excellent illustration goes as follows...lets say if you are dancing to a fast rhythm beat...and suddenly the rhythm changes to a very slow tempo song, it is very difficult to use the same dance moves on a slow song right? It is only if you have that fast rhythm in your heart would you be able to dance the same fast moves with a slow song....The same goes for our lives...if everything around you seems gloomy and nothing seems to be smooth and going your way, it is difficult for us to be happy, but if we sure of our abilities and our self worth and self esteem is high enough, we would be able to face any troubles and problems that come our way with the correct fast lively rhythm and not get affected by the things around us....so in conclusion...listen and get the right rhythm of life, embed that into our lives and nothing people say or do around us will affect us so much, the result would be happier you and you would be able to take the right steps in life :)

You N I

2006-08-03T12:43:00.000+08:00

Written In The Stars
Westlife

Stay with me
Don't fall asleep too soon
The angels can wait for a moment
Come real close
Forget the world outside
Tonight we're alone
It's finally you and I

It wasn't meant to feel like this
Not without you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you

When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

Don't be afraid I'll be right by your side
Through the laughter and pain
Together we're bound to fly!

I wasn't meant to love like this
Not without you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you

When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

I made a few mistakes, yeah
Like sometimes we do
Been through lot of heartache
But I made it back to you

Cos when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you

And when I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

When I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you

When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

Pieces of my Life....

2006-08-03T09:50:00.000+08:00

Well this week is kind of good for me....been financially blessed again as usually..haha :P.....He never fails....my life has been fortunate that i rarely have to worry financially though there are still many things that i desire to buy which i still currently can't afford to....like my dream mansion and my very whole plane....hahaa....maybe i should place a request for it and send it to my boss JC and see if he approves.....should I?... haha....
But I had some hiccups yesterday with my internet connection and was unable to surf wirelessly but after much skull cracking and banging of walls..haha joking lah....i managed to find the problem and its solved...so happy =)
This weekend's going to be fun with tennis on sat and sunday will be heading to Johor's city sq for some shopping with my cousin....well thats all for the updates.....going to head for work soon :P

Key to success- Rest N Focus

2006-07-29T00:12:00.000+08:00

I’ve learnt that if you focus on something, the thing that you focus will become bigger and bigger to you and soon it may consume you….Hence we shouldn’t focus on the wrong things or things that will cause us more added stress….Juz rest and have peace in your heart…As for me I’ve decided that the only thing worth focusing on is Jesus….and as he had said before, if we focus on him, at the rest of the things will fall in its place….Wisdom, Favour , Blessing and Goodness would pursuit you instead of you always striving to get them….hence thus my decision and I’ll try my best to focus on Him even more….and letting my confidence rest on his finished work at the cross...:)

Trip to Durian Farm

2006-07-17T09:40:00.000+08:00

Last weekend me and group of 6 other friends went to a durian farm in johor...somewhere about 40km away from the down of Batu Pahat...here are some of the pictures...

Isn't Snoopy Cute! Muhaa...=)

Me and my friends....

感动

2006-07-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

人浮游在世不止自己才令我一生好奇
寻求被爱的滋味终于碰到你
全赖你我先欣赏自己权力与金钱怎么可媲美
谁拦截也挡不住我在行近你

如何能让我触动你如何描述可感动到你
要与你抱拥相恋一世纪从来没在乎你美与不美

是永不更改我愿意给你爱风霜都替你遮盖
你会看清楚和了解我未被人潮掩盖
若你不安心我做你的浮台不散对你的爱
世界有色彩凭这点爱可否捉紧我齐齐来跨过小障碍

谁愿意作假讨好大家情愿两口子喝茶
平凡地并肩生活比一切优雅
难道爱简单都不能吗难道我感情要给规管吗
从前没你的生命似灵魂腐化

如何能让我感动你明明沉睡都可望到你
到老了也许通通不记起能同偕白头我太有福气

愿永不更改每日献给你爱风霜都替你遮盖
你会看清楚和了解我未被人潮掩盖
若你不安心我做你的浮台 ?不散对你的爱
世界有色彩凭这点爱双手一触碰问你爱不爱

爱你一万年

2006-05-31T21:40:00.000+08:00

爱你一万年
唱词:刘德华
曲:giorgio moroden 刘德华陈德建

地球自转一次是一天
那是代表多想你一天
真善美的爱恋
没有极限也没有缺陷
地球公转一次是一年
那是代表多爱你一年
恒久的地平线
和我的心永不改变
爱你一万年
爱你经得起考验
飞越了时间的局限
拉近了地域的平面
紧紧的相连
紧紧相连
有了你的出现
占据了一切我的视线
我爱你一万年

Trust

2006-05-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

What is trust? The dictionary defines trust as placing confidence in and relying on. As this week i have the opportunity to knock of work early, i had some time to ponder and reflect on my life so far...as a person who rarely like to depend on favours on others, it took me quite a while to trust my Lord for things in my life...many a times i'll would rather have the certainty of things done perfectly according to my plans rather than trusting that the Lord perhaps had other plans installed for me....as i've been planning to purchase my own apartment at the end of the year, i had been saving and making my own plans for the purchase but I heard that there could be some complications regarding my loan application and this sent my spirit very low for the recent weeks...i inquired of the Lord and spoke to a few people regarding this matter but the Lord reassured me again that all will go according to his will for my life...perhaps there may be more changes along the way but now i've learnt that i should keep my eyes focused on him rather than elsewhere and follow his leading and trust that he'll lead me to greener pastures...I'm right beside u Lord!

A Time for Everything

2006-05-27T17:44:00.000+08:00

Indeed theres a time for everything....A time to plant and a time to sow, time to build up, a time to weep, a time to dance, a time to embrace, a time to refrain, a time to lose and a time to keep, a time to throw away, a time to be silent and a time to speak....hence its so important for us to know when to do what isn't? Sometimes its so hard to know but i believe that only through him who holds the key to knowledge and understanding by which we can be able to discern. So often we fail to understand a true heart of a person cause we don't communicate with them on a heart to heart level....i personally believe that there are about 4 levels of friends/communication....the lst level is those I call the "aquaintances".....we have many those in our daily lives, these are the people whom you may only see once in your life time and perhaps you'll never even remember them. The second level are those i call the "Hi and Bye friends"...these are those whom we have more contact with in our lives, it may be our school friends, collegues, business associates....most of the time we communicate with these people on very friendly and polite and business level. We tend to show only one side of ourselves to them. Among these friends there may be a few you'll be able to bring to the 3rd level where you'll reveal more about yourself. The 3rd level friends are those whom you love, trust and would be more willing to share with them more deeply on your thoughts, feelings and you know that you can trust that they'll listen with condemnation and giving appropriate advice if needed..they are those that would be with you through thick and thin and for many years....i would say i don't have too many 3rd level friends but among them there are many who have seen my ups and downs, tolerated all my nonsense..haha...we shared fun, sad, happy times...these are the friends that are always only a phone call away and I know they'll try their very best....Friends on the 4th level is of course much more difficult to get and it would only consists of maybe best friends, your spouse and as for me Jesus is on that level....you may think it strange that I put my friends in categories but i think it is a subconscious thing...i don't see someone and say "hey u are level one person" and shut myself up from them..haha...and many of my friends are also in between levels too!....haha.....we set boundaries for our friends too, to let ourselves and them know where we stand with one another and if fate permits these boundaries could be extended and relationships could be deepen and made stronger....

When things turn out less than our expectations...

2006-05-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

Don't we often wonder why sometimes things don't turn out the way that we want them to or not to our expectations? How should respond to it? Should we kick a big fuss and turn the tables over or should we just accept things as they are? I would admit that i quite a perfectionist by nature but there are times i've done things that disappoint myself and often i would impose perfectionistic ideas on those around me...well i've learnt slowly but surely along the way that everyone is not perfect...even our fingers have 5 different lengths...so same goes for people....everyone has his or her own sets of strengths and weakness and it is important and essential for these differences to exist so that we can co-exist and work together...so we should learn to accept the weakness and draw the strengths out of others rather than to condemn or critise...Life is about human relationships and money surely can't buy love, happiness nor friendships....it would be totally unwise to lose frienships because of difference of opinions, cause each of us is entitled to have his or her own opinions....so don't be short-sighted start looking at things from another angle, perhaps life would be more meaningful and happy....cheers =)

Signs of High and Low EQ

2006-05-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

Listed below are general characteristics of people with high and low EQ,

A person with High EQ:

Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
Does not disguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
Is not afraid to express her feelings.
Is not dominated by negative emotions such as:
Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
Is able to read non-verbal communication.
Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
Is intrinsically motivated.
Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
Is emotionally resilient.
Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
Does not internalize failure.
Is interested in other people's feelings.
Is comfortable talking about feelings.
Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.

A person with Low EQ:

Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
Sends "you messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
Lays guilt trips on you.
Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
Doesnt tell you where you really stand with her.
Is uncomfortable to be around.
Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
Is insensitive to your feelings.
Has no empathy, no compassion.
Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
Does not consider your feelings before acting.
Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated. Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings

In Perspective- The Emerging Butterfly

2006-05-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

Read quite an interesting article in the papers today entitled "Monsters of their own making?" written by a fifteen-yr old handicapped boy;Jeremy Lim. I'm truly amazed at his insight on things...he wrote about how he saw a mum pampering her son and buying him toys just because her son was throwing tandrums at a shopping mall...wow...as for me i'll never be able to tolerate this sort of behaviour...i'll probably give a big slap across their faces i think..=)..this further led me to ponder about disciplining and raising children...in the rat race of Kaisu Singapore, where majority of the parents are overly anxious about their child's education and future, there is a growing tendency for parents to over protect and worry for their child....i personally think that we should take a step back and let children explore their interests and expand their creativity within certain boundaries which i think should be extended to a greater extent...they should be taught how to make independent decisions and realise that whatever decisions they make, they would have to take responsibility for them and live with the consequences....but of course ideally with the full support of their family and friends should they make wrong choices or fail along the way...kids these days think too small; maybe because Singapore is too small physically so it leads to our children seeing only miniture versions of things and partly perhaps its due to the fault of parents as they tend to limit their child...one obvious area is in terms of dreams and aspirations...most parents i've talked to want their child to be doctors, lawyers, engineers and other occupations of prestige...rarely do you find that parents would approve when their child suddenly say that they would like to be artists, technicians and other blue collared jobs...maybe thats the cause of why Singapore has to increasing employ so many foreign workers to fill up these jobs...I think everyone needs to develop and obtain a good set of skills, whether it be manual skills or thinking or logic skills...these are life skills that is essential for an all rounded education...it is pointless to have a child with high IQ skills but absolutely no or low EQ skills...this would truly be a sad and wasted education if that would happen....everyone has his or her own strenghts and weakness and its important to draw out these strengths and develop them to their fullest potential...thinking bigger and broader doesn't come overnite, they need parents, teachers and mentors who think even bigger to influence and guide them along the way, but thankfully our educational system is moving in the right path evocating independent and creative thinking but we still have a long way to go....hope one day things would turn out truly great =)...i'm sure it would..

The path ahead

2006-05-15T08:08:00.000+08:00

Hmm..its been quite a while since i blogged.Had been very busy lately cause of work..but now that the exams are over, i'll be a little more relax..hopefully..Recently have been spending lots of time doing sports like blading, badminton, and tennis..think it's a good thing cause keeps me healthy and a good chance to lose those excess calories..hehe..Well juz the day before I went to east coast to cycle and enjoy the sea breeze...it was kindof fun but was very tiring after that...yesterday was mothers' day...my sis and I had already celebrated with mum last week...went to eat tim-sum at Minjiang...we visited their new outlet at rochester park..the restuarant was in one of those pre-war colonial style house, it was newly renovated and had quite a cosy atmosphere and the food was good....so yesterday I attended church with a few friends at indoor stadium cause it is pastor prince's birthday today...had quite a good message about rest. It reminded us that we need to rest so that we can think listen to Lord, and when we listen, it would help us to think logically and do only the right things at the right time. I totally agree cause many a times we are overwhelmed by the demands of work, family and friends that we fail to be quiet on the inside to reflect and ponder...so one of my resolutions for the days to come is to rest and rest so that i would be able to walk a longer path more effortlessly....

Easter

2006-04-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

Its the time of the year where there's Easter weekend celebration worldwide...in the mist of the chocolates, buddies, gifts and the commercialisation of the festival, the most important is to remember the true meaning of Easter..ie the one who gave his life for us....pastor told us that if we pursuit and focus on Him, surely GOODNESS and MERCY will pursuit and hunt us down like a hunter all the days of our transient life..hmm i think i definately want that!.......Amazing News!....

He's faithful...yet again...

2006-04-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

His love keeping me on track...I know where I have been but He alone knows what lies ahead...thanks so much for being there for me

The weekend....

2006-03-20T08:40:00.000+08:00

I had quite an eventful weekend....last saturday went blading with some of my friends at east coast...well many of them bladed for the first time but it was amazing that none of them fell as much as i did when i first bladed..haha...my sense of balance must be really bad...hehe..but any the way, i didn't fall much except once...hmm....a handsome guy passed by and said hi and i fell...haha...joking lah...Well anyway we were told by the instructors that on our last lesson we have to like blade all the way from fort road to macdonalds through all the humps and bumps...that would be a real feat for me!...really hope i'll be in on piece after that...my friends weren't as worried as i was to that challenge but lets see what happens...i really think we need to practise lots more....well on sunday...hmm..went out with one of my ex-students and her good friend for like a movie and K. It was her friend's b'day the following day and we celebrated by buying her a small choc cake..i think the most interesting part was the neo-print pictures we took...those two young girls were amazing....they were like experts in decorating the neoprints...for me i'll be totally slow....haha.....wat a generation gap...haha...i was quite tired so i kept a little quiet in the later part of the evening......and today its back to work again......

Life goes on....

2006-03-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

This is the last day of the school holidays....had been extremely busy with work and i really need a breather...have been working like 7 days a week...fortunately only in the afternoons during weekdays and half days in the weekends....but anyway i'm always "on call" on my mobile...sometimes it's irritating...haiz but wat to do have make a living...pay the bills etc...this week was good cause my students had the flexibility of adjusting their timings in the mornings so i needn't work so late into the nights....but the unfortunate part is that its ONLY for one week....haiz how i wish the holidays were longer....like forever....HAHA.....Well i'll be going blading for the next 3 weekends.....kind of looking forward to it cause having been practising for a few months now...hope i dun fall...haha.....but i think i wouldn't..hehe....for some who noticed....i've been playing around with my blog skin and adding some silly photos in it....hope u gals like its...=)....its suppose to have background music but the stupid music server has a daily bandwidth limit.....its sooooo irritating.....anyone knows a better music server plllllls let me know.......thks =)

Feelings Versus Thoughts and Beliefs

2006-02-19T20:37:00.001+08:00

Feelings and thoughts are different, but also are one and the same. They are like the head and tail of a coin. We react to events with both thoughts and feelings. Feelings are emotions, and sensations, and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, and convictions. When difficult feelings are expressed, the sharp edges are dulled, and it is easier to release or let go of the bad feeling. If we only express our beliefs about the event and not the feelings, the bad feelings linger and are often harder to release. Whenever someone says, "I feel that..." the person is about to express a belief, not a feeling.

2006-01-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

I don't know, but I believe

That some things are meant to be

And that you'll make a better me

Everyday I love you

I never thought that dreams came true

But you showed me that they do

You know that I learn something new

Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny

Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)

And you'll never live until you love

With all your heart and soul.

It's a touch when I feel bad

It's a smile when I get mad

All the little things I am

Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you more

Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny

Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)

And you'll never live until you love

With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?

Together we're the very best

I know that I am truly blessed

Everyday I love you

And I'll give you my best

Everyday I love you

Chinese New Year

2006-01-20T23:41:00.000+08:00

hmm...this year CNY is so early..don't know good or bad...i think more good than bad lah...well can't wait to get my hands on the new year goodies...but this year maybe could be quite quiet cause grandma not around anymore so don't have to do much visiting.....well i do miss her...sob... but i guess life doesn't stop...it has to go on......look at the bright side of life =)

Hi.....I'm back =)

2006-01-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

Think its time for update? =).....First update for 2006.....don't know what to write lah..haha...been busy as usual...Most people start the year with some sort of New Year resolution.....as for me..hmm....my new year resolution is to get my some regular activity with my friends....who have been complaining of my inavailability for activities....so this year must plan time properly....fortunately its like a miracle lor....all the timings fit so nicely.....got time for everything.....last 2 years have been so chaotic....but hopefully all things will go well from now on...and by end feb 2007 i'll be a owner of my very own apartment =)..... that this year schedule i'm free in the mornings to laze around and do my own stuff before work....hmm and my weekends are relatively free for me to start my tennis and blading again...and back to service and cell group....March going to be start tennis again with my "karkeys"....yippee! =)........zzzzz time to head for bed now......zzzzzzzzz.

Another day

2005-12-07T15:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm...today woke up sad cause i discovered i lost a snoopy key chain which was a gift to me...must have dropped it....sad...:/..... told my friend....maybe i'll get another one...hehe hopefully...hint hint...haha....

would be working half days from this week till end of the year...... i hope....will be going away to malaysia on 16dec for a few days to attend my cousin's wedding......don't really know this cousin very well but since he's a cousin our family got invited.....Hope i don't get too bored there...that place is like "kampong" (rural) type so no internet connection...but fortunately will only be for 2 days in this type of lifestyle...after that will be going to KL (kuala lumpur) then probably can at least be more "in tune" with the world..haha.......plan to shop N eat till i drop...haha......

Its going to be a good break for me.....hopefully i'll enjoy my B'day...haha....my cousins would celebrating with me.....(would celebrate with my family and friends before i go to malaysia)....thats all the update for now......=P

Time for an update

2005-12-06T07:54:00.000+08:00

Whaaa...i've been so busy for these last two months...even forgot i got a blog haha till someone reminded me to UPDate my site...haha...

This two months have been busy for me...work as usual...cause the exams of my students were in the whole of October...

Well after that what happened...haiz...i thought as usual after that got school holidays then i can rest lor but then who knows where the students come from suddenly got more new students got introduced to me...then work work and work lor....

of course not all the time work lah..got play also lor...play online game...maplestory but very boring...want to quit but sometimes bored then play lor........Went back to Nexus (Kingdom of the Winds) for a while but must pay so haiz i think play MS bah....still got go see movie and of course my usual gym workout and blading......chating on msn and meeting up with old friends is also a sure must or else i'll go insane! hehe...........=P

hmm....aiyoh think of it now my life very boring le...haha....must find some other stimulating things to do.....Reading Chornicles of Narnia.....zzzzzzzzz

Ice-cream maker

2005-09-28T11:25:00.000+08:00

How ice-cream is made =P

2005-09-20T12:03:00.000+08:00

The recent news about brutal killings of security guard and finding body parts in plastic bags really sent shivers down my spine. It had me thinking about about two issues, firstly; the question of safety in Singapore, Secondly, With increase afluence, has our society evolved to be more cold-blooded? more brutal? Ten years ago, we would never find body parts in Singapore right in the hearts of Orchard Road. No doubt we have heard of the Adrain Lim's killings and other brutal killings but never has it be so blatantly open. In the past, the murderer would dump the body in the sea or buried in some remote place after the killing. But now why dump in Orchard? The very heart of the city!? Was he wanting people to find it more easily? We have yet to get a sastisfactory answer to this question. With the increase global concern with security and terriorist threats. How safe is Singapore for our next generation? Neverthe less life has to go on and everyone has got be be more alert and be aware of the changing face of society. Well i hope that these murders would be solved as soon as possible and continual peace and properity for our country.

2005-09-20T11:59:00.000+08:00

JUST DRAG ANY ITEM ONTO THE TRAY AND YOU WILL SEE THE CALORIES.

CALCULATE FIRST BEFORE STEPPING INTO MCDONALD'S
WILL HELP YOU TO PLAN YOUR INTAKE WELL.

http://www.dietclub.com.au/createameal/?menu=1

2005-09-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

CHOICES

Life is full of choices; everyday we make thousands of choices....we wake up, we choose wat we wear, wat we eat, who we talk to, wat we want to do.....some of these choices could be easy and can be done without even thinking too much, while others have ripple effects on those around us, it could be your collegues, schoolmate, neighbour, friends or loved ones. I guess our lives up till now are a sum of all the good and bad choices we have made in the past....hmm......for me, ya i have made many wrong choices but guess now there's no turning back cause as the saying goes...Time waits for no man.....or for my case.....Time waits for no woman.....haha.....Well, there are things that i've choosen that i wouldn't trade anything for it too!=) hehe.......Hmmm....so wats the moral of the story?.......hmm....... we need to live life as if today is our last day; always attempting to give it your best shot......appreciate those people you care for, so that you'll minimise the things you regret in days to come.......=)

2005-09-01T21:33:00.000+08:00

Phew.....i've been too busy to do any writing....and also got writer's block lor...haha.......haiz....life's like that lor :( have to work work work...wished could juz sit and $ drops down from the sky....hahaha.....but know thats impossible....

These few days have been catching up with my old buddies.....chit chatting n makan and playing tennis, aerobics, gym and of course blading.....

Well my blading stil sucks....but i'll keep trying....must get it right!....getting there......

2005-08-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

HIHI! I've finally managed to redo my webpage!!hehe......its quite any achievement considering i was a complete novice juz a few days before....hehe....do i hear a round of applause?!! haha......Well its quite a simple page but my favourite part is of course my favourite doggie SNOOPY! hehe....Isn't he such a cuttie? =P.....Well keep browsing constantly =P i'll try to update it as my time permits

2005-08-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

Anger is only one letter short of danger.
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

2005-08-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

CHICKEN N EGG DEBATE

Read this article yesterday in the forum section of the TODAY paper. It wrote that the service quality in Singapore has been deterioting and that many people seem to play the waiting game -insisting the service staff will be polite only if the customers are and vice versa. Personally i've encountered many rude service staff in shops and in eateries. I think it isn't easy to change the mentality of these staff....Some advocate using monetary incentives to entice them to be more courteous, i think thats lame and aritifical...wouldn't it so fake? I think it is more important to make it a country wide culture....Not only should Singapore be known as a Garden City, maybe we could thrive towards a Polite City.... As Singapore is moving to an increasing global society, to remain competitive, no doubt monetary rewards can move people towards better service but should that be our sole motivation at work. I'm sure there is much individual satifaction derived from a job well done and a thank you smile in return for your efforts.

2005-08-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

绝对Superstar

Yesterday nite was the last semi-finals of Singapore's very own Chinese Idol search. Next week would be the finals where 2 male and 2 female contestants would compete. Yesterday was sad for the contestant Wei Jian. He even cried singing his departure song to all his fans......it was so touching....i cried too (sob sob)...I think Wei lian shouldn't be in the finals...how can they let a blind man even win a idols competition. Wouldn't think his albums would sell well.....for one he wouldn't even recognise his fans....not that i'm basis and have any thing against disabled people.....cause even myself aint perfect.....but i think we need to be pracmatic about this......its a music business....FACE IT!

Well on the brighter side Jun yang managed to get to the finals! He's soo cool.. I love his voice and his cute smile...Well i hope he wins! I know Maryse u would want Wei lian to win....But i support JUN YANG! Go Go Go =P

2005-08-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

Chasing after the Wind

All of us go through life only once, so it's important to do what matters and what counts for eternity. As author Phillip C. McGraw wrote in his book "Life Strategies : Doing what works, doing what matters" it is important to understand yourself and do identify your strengths and weaknesses. Constantly building on our strengths and correcting our weaknesses. Life is dynamic and hence we need to be dynamic as well. We learn to take charge of our lives rather than complain all the time that life has been unfair to you.

Life Law #1 : You either get it or you don't
Strategy :Become one of those who gets it

Life Law #2 : You create your own experience.
Strategy :Acknowlege and accept accountability for your life.

Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy:Identify the payoffs that drive your behaviour and that of others

Life Law #4 : You cannot change what you do not acknowlege.
Strategy : Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it.

Life Law #5 : Life rewards action.
Strategy : Make careful decisios and then pull the trigger

Life Law #6 : There is no reality; only perception.
Strategy : Identify the filters through which you view the world.

Life Law #7 : Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy : Learn to take charge of your life.

Life Law #8 : We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy : Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.

Life Law #9 : There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy : Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.

Life Law #10 : You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy : Get clear what you want and take your turn

Turn Back the clock

2005-08-11T14:29:00.000+08:00

Its sooooo cool. I wish i could turn back the clock! I would have never imagined 15 yrs ago during my teenager days that it can be so fun to be able to write your stuff and post it on the internet so that millions of people could read! Well that's the amazing part of the internet and technology. Well this would be the beginning of my adventure with blogging...........stay tune for more blogs ok..=P